“The real core of being a survivor is continuing to survive”

“The real core of being a survivor is continuing to survive”

Life doesn’t always afford us the choice of whether or not we’ll survive what it throws at us.  Be it a challenge at work, life in general, family matters, ill health, etc.  Some of us have a little more on our plates to deal with than others which is why some people who cross your path will understand or be empathetic towards your struggle and others…well, they’ll be a bit more dismissive because of their ignorance.  Understanding doesn’t always come easy regardless of which end you’re on.

Each day brings with it new challenges, new obstacles and sometimes new blessings.  For me right now, I have a bittersweet mix of both.  My Hydrocephalus has behaved itself since June last year AND I haven’t needed surgery in 8 years – that’s a HUGE blessing!  Any person with this condition will know exactly what I mean to have gone without a Hydro-headache or surgical intervention for that long.  The little headaches I’ve had in between that respond to simple painkillers are nothing in the grand scheme of things.

On the opposite of that spectrum, the obstacles and challenges I currently have are in dealing with my latest diagnosis of Hyperthyroidism.  I’m not entirely sure how to feel about all of it because quite honestly, it leaves me saying most days “God, WHY don’t you just let me die?”.  It’s not me being negative or depressed, even though that is a relatively easy state to gravitate towards.  No…it’s more me just feeling helpless and being tired of having to deal with doctors who don’t listen, provide below par care, charge a fortune and are more concerned about making as much money off of you without providing any real solutions/guidance to the physical agony their patients are in.  It’s about dealing with and accepting the betrayal of my physical state over which I have no control.  It’s about having to deal with hurtful comments (intentional or not) and snarky remarks from family and friends who, despite being the closest people to you, just don’t get it.  It’s about willing my body to feel better because I’m sick of feeling sick…

Surviving life…that’s all I’m trying to do regardless of your opinion…

So, survival for me at this point in my life is taking the good with the bad.  The dose might not be the same and the scales may tip more in favour of the negative but, I choose to focus on the positive.  I’m defying the hold that ill health has on me and saying “Stuff you!

The only way to get through is to take one more breath, one more step forward (even a side step is a step nonetheless) and push my body to survive.  I’ll get where I need to be simply because the lesson is not yet known to me…and, that in itself gives me the will to survive.

Your attitude in everything determines the best or worst outcome, don’t you agree?


  • Duncan

    January 21, 2018 at 3:47 pm Reply

    Another GREAT ARTICLE Sky, your so very right when you say even family and friends just don’t Get IT.
    Even some that have been through the travels, the the appointments, seen the pain on our faces had to deal with our absences from gatherings, shopping travels and pretty much everything which we did together. Now I wasn’t born with Hydrocephalus so my issues started much later in life, after been able then all of a sudden being unable. The first 10 years with this condition was extremely hard on me and my family. Yes it has been a shock for us and I’m so grateful that I have not needed recent surgeries, but my pain continues and the search for the right combination of tools to reduce the pain. My walking has improved to where I can even get around unassisted by canes or walkers for the most part, I’m even thinking of trying to get back in good enough shape to try downhill skiing? Or even work? time will tell. It hard after so long that sometimes the people in our lives can become forgetful of our troubles. But we have to move on from that?

    • Skyewaters

      January 21, 2018 at 7:46 pm Reply

      I sometimes think they can’t help but go on living life unaffected by it all because quite simply, they’re not the ones physically being reminded by it each day.
      It’s a tricky one to say the least.

      Give yourself time and when you feel ready, go for it. It’s not easy when you acquire this condition later in life. I can fully relate to that. But, I’d like to believe you can do as much or as little as you set your mind to.

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