“I’m sorry…” seems to be the first words that come to mind. Sorry for so many things because somehow, I just feel this is wrong and unfair. Sorry because you were a little girl that I knew once upon a time, a girl whom I envied and loved because you were always kind and caring towards me. I love the fact that I get to say “You are my friend and I know you“. The truth of it is,…I knew you a long time ago and we lost touch…
To see the words of your diagnosis and know that just a few short months ago, I saw a photo of you with your little girl (about the same age as when we first met), it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because I know that little girl will lose one of the most important people in her life in just a few short months. How can anyone explain that to her? How can anyone make that right so that she can muster up the courage to carry on in this life without you?
I’m sorry because your family will feel a loss that in time, we all come to face as a human race…I pray for them. I’m sorry that you are torn with emotions beyond my comprehension right now and I’m sorry that you have to face this no matter how your heart begs not to.
Last year, another friend of mine also died in a space of just a few short months and before that…another…all because of ovarian Cancer! I’m sorry that those words even enter the vocabulary of any one human being. I’m sorry that at this point in time despite my faith, I feel a doubtful jolt at the words “Prayer can heal this disease“. I’m sorry that I’m wavering and I’m sorry that I am not strong enough to maintain the momentum of what I myself have offered as advice or comfort.
Oh, how I wish that things were different for you…
I can’t help feeling that we are born and in no time at all, our lives are over. It somehow feels like a race to leave a mark behind, to make a difference, to say or do something to change this world or the outcome of our lives. And yet…
I wish there was something I could say or do to make this situation better for you but I can’t and right now, all feeling seems to have left me as I walk around questioning so many things…feeling angry but mostly…sorry…
I pray for you…that you may not suffer, that you can find peace within your heart and soul, that you feel the love of everyone around you and know that your little girl will be taken care of. May you know how special you are and may the arms of God embrace you as you enter His kingdom.
With all my love…
C
Diane Gerhardt
September 25, 2020 at 8:06 pmI lost my mother when I was 13 years old, 1992 ( ovarian cancer )
and your words touch me deeply ♥
When I was diagnosed with hydrocephalus, my oldest daughter was 13 and………… I was so scared ( and nobody understood that ! )
to go to the hospital
These losses are so heavy for everyone, but especially for children ♥
Skyewaters
September 25, 2020 at 8:29 pmI’m sorry for your loss. You’re right, most people don’t understand and, none of it is easy. Quite possibly, all of it was a trigger for you too. Hang in there. You are not alone so, feel free to reach out, if you need to💙
Anonymous
April 1, 2017 at 1:16 pmOh that was so beautiful Celeste, things we wish we can say to someone who is facing this ordeal. You touched my soul with these beautiful words May your friend find the strenghth with the grace of God to walk this path. God bless her family… I pray for strength for her and the family. Amen
Skyewaters
April 2, 2017 at 2:55 amThank you