The picture I have in my head of what my life should be like as opposed to the way my life actually is, are two very different things. Opposite in fact…
When I look around at my physical surroundings, I see clutter first and foremost. When I look inside at my thoughts, I see clutter…painstakingly so. I don’t really know if there is much I can do about the clutter of thoughts but this is something I will work on at a later stage.
The clutter in my life feels like its weighing me down and is definitely not something I want for myself.
This morning, I woke up and uttered the words “I feel like cleaning up because I don’t like the mess…everything needs to be put in its place. And, if it doesn’t have a place to live, the bin will be its new home”. I was thinking out loud. The funny thing about clutter is, it literally saps your energy and weakens your mood. So what does that say about me? It’s no wonder I always feel like I have no energy or am in a less desirable mood…most days.
For starters, I know I don’t like it. I’ve watched shows like Hoarders and have made the normal comments of “What’s wrong with these people?” or “How did it get like that?” Granted, I’m not to that extent but hey, I’m sure even the worst hoarder had to start out somewhere right? Am I possibly on my way to joining that elite league?
Coming back to the picture in my head…
I see a life…(you guessed it) clutter-free. No physical baggage, no emotional baggage…not even spiritual baggage. I am free of ill-thought and live my life in peace and harmony. I eat well, I exercise, I am even HAPPY! I believe that I can have that kind of life. I believe that I can change my surroundings because it is within my power to do so…however, realistically speaking, I do have a 5-year old at present, in my house, who is used to leaving her toys all over the place. Drawings, pens, artwork, etc decorate the tables and chairs from time to time. I suppose this is just a form of conditioning that needs to happen…or a phase that needs to pass. Whichever way, it’s something that will change…I pray it does.
I used to have a friend who’s house always seemed spotless. She had beautiful furnishings, the kind I would not trust having a young child around…because accidents happen and her stuff was expensive. With that said though, there were at least 2 rooms in the house, we never entered…the lounge and the dining room. These rooms looked like something out of a glossy magazine. At the time, I thought that this is also not the way to live…but, I did admire it from the outside. However, she managed to raise a daughter in that environment and never had a breakage. So it can be done…
How do we accumulate stuff?
For starters, I for one don’t throw things out. I hold onto everything. I still have school books from when my husband was in primary school. How I inherited them, I honestly don’t know…even worse, it managed to follow us from one country to the next. I haven’t thrown out my own kids “stuff” from when they were in daycare either. Hmm…now I wonder if this will become my “daughter-in-law’s” baggage too, one day. NO! I am the one who will need to put an end to it. There’s one thing to be sentimental and it’s entirely different just being a hoarder. If it doesn’t add any value to your life, then why keep it? If it’s not functional in your day to day existence, why hang on to it? The strangest thing about all of it is when I do decide to physically throw things in the bin when spring cleaning, it feels so liberating, good, and physically lightens the load on my shoulders. I know the advantages of getting rid of the clutter and I know that all it takes is a few hours at a time to make a dent in all the unnecessary things I’ve accumulated.
I don’t think my kids will hate me for throwing out their things one day. Especially since I hold onto them “in case they want to have it one day to reminisce”…I think it’s just a means to hold myself hostage. I don’t need it and I’m sure as hell they won’t either. In fact, I’m hopeful that they will remember the clutter, which surrounded them as they were growing up and thank me for not bringing it into their adult life.
As for organized…this is something that I always thought I was but there are times I prove to be the opposite. If I were so organized, I would at least be able to know where something is when I look for it. This is not the case most days (though I do attribute that to my poor memory, most days). I would simply love an organized life and an organized system of how to manage physical mail. I have not yet been successful in identifying a system for what’s important and what’s not. I keep everything in boxes and half of the stuff (no, more than half) I’m sure I don’t need anymore or ever will. My Inbox looks exactly the same…though in my defence, it doesn’t help that Gmail allows it’s users that much storage space either (this is Me, not looking for a scapegoat…I swear). I will persevere…and, I will find a way to get my life organized. I will succeed because I want it badly enough.
There is one simple reason why I will be successful in my endeavours …the last part of today’s topic. I want a life that is Enjoyable, one where I can sit back and thoroughly enjoy the finer more important things that come with each new day. We only get one chance at this life and before we know it, it’s over. I think I deserve at least that much from myself…don’t you?