I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while now. In fact, today I decided will be the day since my hubby has just taken the kids out and I’m home alone. So the timing is perfect.
This was a bit of a scary week for me as my previous post indicates, but I got through it. It’s times like these, that I sit back and think about little Hydro warriors across the globe. I think about them because…maybe I just feel so much empathy that my soul feels as if it’s going to burst. However, it’s the extension of each little boy or girl that gets me thinking the most…their parents.
I have 3 kids of my own and I remember when they were little, sick and couldn’t yet vocalize how they were feeling. I felt pretty helpless and can’t say how I knew when they weren’t well but there would be signs and I soon got to know them pretty well. One thing especially that I remember, is how I wished for them to be older so they could tell me exactly what was wrong or how they were feeling. I knew that this was imperative in order for any doctor to diagnose them. It almost felt like a nightmare I was living in. However, at that point in my life, I had no knowledge of a condition like Hydrocephalus and that other little boys or girls in this world are enduring even worse symptoms than whatever it was that my child was going through at that point in time.
Having a condition like Hydrocephalus myself, I know exactly what I feel like when my body is going through the effects of pressure build-up, etc. I know what a shunt failure feels like and I know the anxiety and fear that can build up inside of you because of the unknown’s.
This post today, is me taking time out to say: Parents, you guys are awesome! You are doing the best you can for your little one against all odds, you are companions travelling on this journey with them. I think it takes a special kind of soul to deal with a condition like this. Each day is a challenge and yet, here you are. Doing the best you possibly can for your little boy or girl. You are their rock, you are their strength and you are their hero. Without you, they would be helpless and alone. Without you, they would not have a voice. Without you, they would not be able to do their best and beat each day with new conviction. They push through because you are their focal point…even when they themselves don’t understand what’s happening to their little bodies. They see you and know that they can do this.
When I see photo’s on Facebook of babies who have just had shunt surgery, there’s one place I always find myself staring at…their eyes. I see so much in their eyes. I picture the person taking the photo and see them staring into the camera. There’s so much trust and love in the captured result after you click the button. It tells me that because they have that amount of love and trust in you, they already know that things are going to be OK…because they have you.
I know it’s easy to doubt yourself when you have to make the hard decisions on their behalf. I can only imagine that there might be some of you who question why your little one had to be born with this condition and feel that it is unfair. You might be right and no-one can tell you that this feeling is wrong and you should not have it. I also know that there are some of you who feel your little one is a blessing and that no matter what condition they have, you would always be there for them (as all parents do). Take it one day at a time. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel…be it negative or be it positive. We are all allowed to feel the way we do at any given moment in time. No-one else is on this journey with you and no-one else feels the way that you do…you do not need to justify or prove anything to anyone.
I believe that children mimic their parents in everything they do until they become independent individuals. However, it is the foundation of the example set before them, that will ultimately guide them in life. You are the person responsible for that and at the start of their life, they will know nothing better than facing what has been placed before them head on and get through it no matter what. You are setting the perfect example for them. I believe that, even though you have fear, they only see your strength and that in turn gives them enough resolve to persevere.
I know this purely because I too am a mother, who only ever wants the best for her children. I am not for one minute saying I know what it feels like to be you or what your life is like…because I don’t. I am saying that I am in awe of you and applaud you for everything you do. I am saying that you are an earth Angel who should never doubt yourself but know that what you are doing, is the best you can ever do. Never question yourself, never give up and never feel like anything less than what you are…You are someone special to your little one.
You are their world…they depend on you.