Today marks two years since my repeat ETV. An operation that placed the cherry on my hydrocephalus cake. I’m navigating a brain injury caused by the bleed I had during surgery. It’s been hard to accept. It still is. (Time, patience and understanding is what I need, especially from...
Articles with the Tag Feeling helpless
Haemorrhage during brain surgery has lasting effects…
You look at me and see the same person but, on the inside, I’m existing in a living nightmare..! C. A. Marriday A repeat ETV (Endoscopic Third Ventriculostomy), performed on 4 May 2021, brain surgery #6, resulted in a haemorrhage during surgery. The effects of which have only escalated...
Ever feel like you’re losing your mind..? Part 2 of 2
For context, you can read Part 1 of 2 here. I’ve always been one to take care of others, especially my children. The thought of “slipping”, is leaving me feeling quite perplexed! C. A. Marriday I know there’s not much I can physically do to change any of what...
Ever feel like you’re losing your mind..?
Part 1 of 2 That’s rhetorical! However, my question is sincere and this is why… Having hydrocephalus and enduring brain surgery (repeatedly) takes a toll on you. We never really know what the effects will be. Symptoms, surgery and recovery, may differ with each operation, per person. For those...
Living with a VP Shunt is not new to me but, this time, it’s different.
For a start, I can hear my shunt draining CSF when I change positions or tilt my head a certain way. This is something I did not experience with my Medtronic programmable shunt. There are even times where I can hear the little ball inside the valve, rolling around...
You can get angry, you can get sad but, no matter the emotion; You HAVE to keep going.
I wrote this a few weeks ago, it was meant to be my way of motivating anyone who needed it. But, I never actually got around to finishing it. Now, lying in a hospital bed (yet again), I find it more suited to my own situation. Current state: I...
Do you ever just feel like a waste of space?
In one of my previous posts: “How I cope is much the same as being like a duck”, I talk about the best advice I was given by my ex-manager Ian, after my diagnosis and first brain surgery. I struggled at work, to get back to a version of...
Hydrocephalus and the art of war…
She stood her ground and so did he. They are warriors of a different kind. In the days of war (I can only imagine), facing an unknown opponent, you have no idea what their strengths or weaknesses are. Nor, do you know, what tactical moves they will use to...
Let your body be your guide!
This condition has taught me to be, not only resilient, but also resourceful. The things I’ve had to do and endure, over these last few years, cause me to feel both anger and admiration (amongst other things). As a result, it forces you to figure things out for yourself!...
Let’s talk about it…post surgery depression!
Trigger Warning: Depression, End of life/Suicide, Trauma. If you feel in the least affected, please do not read this. And, if you need to, seek help. I’ve gone through bouts of depression on and off throughout my life. I’m no stranger to this dark demon. Spiralling down the rabbit...