5 things to remember to improve your life after brain injury: Redefining your new normal
Self-care is essential, especially when you live with a brain injury. The invisible nature of this disability leaves you at a societal disadvantage because others cannot understand what they cannot see. It’s understandable in that respect. Is it not..? Unfortunately, that lack of insight does not escape the people closest to you. Sadly, and disappointingly, more so. The fact that you are linked by blood, love or otherwise, quite frankly does not set them apart. An incorrect assumption made is that when someone sustains a brain injury, those closest to them will step up and take care of them. One would hope that to be the case, it’s not always though, not for everyone. It truly is a stressful, high impact situation, one which places a heavy load on all those affected. Most people are simply not equipped…
Ironically, should the person living with the injury choose to accept this fact, it presents an opportunity. While those around you are oblivious, and have the luxury of ignorance to the situation you find yourself in, you have a choice to make. Relearn life OR give up. The latter surely is not an option — it should NEVER be. So, assuming you choose the former, prepare yourself for slow and different. The best part, YOU get to carve out opportunities for yourself that serve you better in your current state. To be reactive as well as proactive in the best way possible, because you have the insider’s view to what makes your life worthwhile NOW. Defining, re-defining, and fine-tuning it as you go…As many times as you need to.
I would not do it justice if I didn’t say: The loss and effect suffered due to this type of injury is far reaching. Your life changes in obvious and sometimes painfully unexpected ways. Physiological changes aside, there are some key relationships lost along the way too: family, friends, employment, social… It’s raw and it hurts. This post is not meant to minimise or detract from that, nor is it my intention to make it sound easy, because it’s not. Without adequate support, it’s frustrating as hell!
While there are many, these are only 5 self-care ideas to improve and redefine your life after brain injury. Rinse and repeat:
1. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF – Surviving what you survived required strength.
Brain injury is something that happened TO you. The result of something that is well and truly outside of your control. The only thing you can control is YOUR response to it. Shame should never be part of the equation. In fact, once you are ready, talking about it and being open with others helps bridge the gap of understanding and opens the door to improvement. Let’s normalise it, especially in the workplace. Losing your job after sustaining a brain injury is a catalyst with a snowball effect of negativity. But you can rebuild your life. It may just look different to what you are used to.
Acceptance of what you can control VS what you can’t, is key!
2. REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE – Your worth did not change with your diagnosis.
Life as you know it may have changed, but at your core you are still YOU. When you remember who you are, you give yourself the best chance of survival. More importantly, it will help you thrive amidst the difficulties.
Growth is part of life and so too is adjusting to the ebb and flow of daily life.
3. BE KIND TO YOURSELF – You do not need to earn compassion — especially from yourself.
It’s easy to get caught up in the spiral of negativity that ensues after sustaining such a life altering event. While the rest of the world pulls away and leave you feeling inadequate, useless, or someone to be ignored or avoided, the least you can do is to be kind to yourself.
As difficult as this situation may be to accept, you CANNOT control other people’s response to your situation. That’s on them.
4. YOUR LIMITS ARE YOURS, AND YOURS ALONE – You do not have to explain your limits to deserve respect.
The limitations others place on you is one thing. Similarly, you are the only one who understands your new normal. Work within it. Challenge yourself but NEVER do so at your own expense.
Slow progress is still progress for an injured brain regardless of how long it takes you. And no one can take that away from you.
5. DON’T LET OTHERS TELL YOU HOW TO FEEL – You are allowed to grieve who you were.
Your feelings matter. The good. The bad. And the ugly. Allow yourself to feel ALL of it. When it comes to brain injury, and navigating life afterwards, it’s unknown territory.
You deserve to set your own goals and achieve them at your own pace.
There is always a healthy dose of mindfulness to be added. As life changes and morphs into a new state, knowing you can and will get through this is paramount. In the end, do what works for you. Always.
For me personally; I remain a work in progress. Someone who is self-aware enough to know all of what I have written above, while still having my moments of weakness where I simply struggle to apply any of this. Challenging? Absolutely! But I keep at it, reflecting back and reminding myself to steer the course, allowing ALL the moments in-between. PS. I have perfected the art of picking myself up when I am down because I’m worth it!
What are some things you do to practice self-care after brain injury?
