Mental health challenges, are nothing to scoff at. I do believe that most people experience something (or even a few) that adversely them, at one point or another. I’m not ashamed to say I have my fair share of ups and downs.
It’s never easy to deal with and, for some, it doesn’t end favourably…because you just want it to STOP!
If I had a $ for every time someone has looked at me and suggested I seek professional help, when they no longer know what to do for me medically, I wouldn’t need to work. (Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration but, I think you get the point).
Dealing with an incurable illness, adding more medically complex, unsolved issues on top of that, to the load of discomfort and pain, while having to remain a functioning member of society, is more than enough grounds for a meltdown. As a person living with continued pain, being told that your symptoms are not severe enough and added unexplained ailments, can leave you feeling extremely helpless.
Don’t misunderstand, I know that everyone has their own issues to deal with, some worse than others. But, it’s not a competition. There is no comparison. Respecting that others too are being handed lemons on this journey of life, is what sets us apart.
Looking back, life has not been easy, it surprises me that I’m still “sane” and, more importantly, alive. But, I have a reason that keeps me going for as long as I possibly can, known only to me and my creator. I know my life from start to end is not at all determined by me. I accept that. However, this year for me, there will be no new year’s resolutions. No setting of goals I never reach or lose interest in. Instead, there will be moments…broken down into whatever is deemed necessary, for me to get from one, to the next. I am not disillusioned into thinking that all those moments will be good either. Realistically, the experiences I’ve had throughout my life and continue to have, will ensure I have a bit of both for the rest of my days.
Some of us live in torture chambers and desperately need a way to break free…
I choose, however, to take the moments as they come. At times I will be stronger than others but, I’ll keep trying to push through. Be it another brain operation, dealing with more unexplained symptoms as my body ages, further torture and pain as I struggle to find someone who can untangle the medical mess I’m in. Or, continuing my search for medical help or not.
The effects on one’s mental state, takes its toll.
I accept my situation.
When you go through trauma, it’s good to talk about it, in your own time. Keeping your feelings bottled up is what eats you up inside. BUT, talking to the right person is key. Not everyone will understand especially, if they can’t relate. That’s OK. And, not everyone has the same level of empathy. So, there’s risk in opening up to someone else.
Hence, taking it moment by moment…my hope for sanity this year.
2020, has certainly left a mark, which undoubtedly will affect most of us, one way or another. Remember that you matter too. Be a little kinder to yourself. Be patient. If you feel the need to, please reach out to me, I may not have all the answers or even know exactly what to say but, I will listen to you and send a virtual hug your way!