Another Monday morning hangover

Another Monday morning hangover

I woke up on Sunday, to a throbbing in my head, the kind you feel before you even open your eyes. This was familiar to me like a long lost memory – a bad one at that. At the first sign of it, I could feel my stress and anxiety levels rising because I knew fully what was to follow next…sort of.  I have not had a headache like this in months.  In fact, I recall saying this quite a few times lately. Now, in hindsight, I wonder if somehow I jinxed myself…

I tried to function as best I could and got out of bed, had something to eat but by the time I went to get dressed…all hell broke loose!

I doubled over from the pain in my stomach, which normally leaves me feeling so powerless, I don’t know what to do. Lying down doesn’t help, kneeling or even lying on the floor brings no relief. I can’t stand because my legs feel weak and the pain drives me insane. I then decided to crawl to the toilet bowl and just put my finger down my throat. I thought maybe, just maybe, vomiting would help…(Regrettably, my son witnessed all of this and asked “are you OK?” and I feebly responded “I’m OK”.  Knowing fully that at that point in time…I was not.  Only he and I are aware of what happened ).

A few years back, I tested positive for a bacteria called Helicobacter Pylori (also known as H Pylori). The little bugger/s live in the lining of the stomach and could co-exist happily with me OR cause some havoc which could eventually lead to stomach cancer. It just gets better…doesn’t it?

Knowing full well what it’s capable of, I don’t particularly enjoy knowing that it’s inside of me. There’s not much I can do though especially since the prescribed treatment is a triple course of antibiotics. I’ve had this thrice in a space of 20 years with no success. So…I have a sneaky suspicion that this is the cause of the horrendous pain in my stomach as I’ve described above.

Sadly, as with my Hydrocephalus, there’s not been much in terms of medical help for me. The Gastroenterologist I saw for this a few months back, said that he would need to do an emergency Endoscopy at the time of me having the pain. The trick with this though has been that I can’t get this pain on a Monday because he doesn’t work then and also not on a weekend because going to the Emergency Department at the hospital, would be fruitless. They wouldn’t do a scope or as he said, “have anyone available to do it“.  I can’t go any further than my knees on this one…

It seems a bit unfair when you add this to a condition like Hydrocephalus. I think I’ve just about had my fair share of pain and dangerous conditions. At the time of “attack”, both of them hit me like a freight train without warning…

As I suspected, the vomiting helped a bit and I was able to take a trip to the mall with my family to open up bank accounts for the kids. One thing about being hit by a Hydro headache, no matter what plans you make, it doesn’t ask you permission to hit or if “now” is a good time.

I felt as if I had been battered and bruised from all angles…my insides hurt. My headache had lulled a bit after a double dose of Codeine and some Ibuprofen. I endured the outing with my family, came home and made some roti’s to accompany our meal. I even made waffles for dessert…! (Because the kids asked so nicely).  These are just some of the limits I push myself to. You might wonder why I do this, I know I have. Well, it’s because I want to contribute to the family and still function as a normal person. Besides, I don’t really get much in terms of sympathy anyway. When I said to my husband later that afternoon, “I’ve got a hydro headache but across the top of my head to the back of my feels different“. His response was, “Oh, you must be having one like I get“. Now anyone with Hydrocephalus knows how this kind of response would just leave me thinking “No love…you have NO IDEA! Our headaches CANNOT be compared“.

No matter how bad I feel physically, I push and push to get things done. I know this will be my downfall one day…

Monday morning rolled on in with a wake-up call at 2 am by yet another migraine.  I reached for some Codeine, switched off the night light in our room, which we leave on in case my daughter wakes up, and let the darkness enfold me.  I then tried to fall asleep again but, lying down wasn’t an option because the throbbing just became worse until eventually, I ended up sleeping at an angle, half-sitting (Not too comfortable either).

I felt like the dog’s breakfast when I had to get up for work.  I swear an actual hangover would have been better to bear than this. I’m living on painkillers, tons of water to keep my body hydrated and feeling in desperate need of SLEEP!

I know it will take the next few days for my body to feel better and regain its equilibrium. Riding the queasy boat of life and feeling seasick.


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