Living in a family unit where the majority of the members are male, has proven to be quite tricky. My eldest son is now at an age and physical build where he quite comfortably fits into my husbands Tshirts and even underwear. Hence the quarrels that ensue (because the one wears the others clothing items), something that I’ve come to just roll my eyes at and walk away from. For me, I have no problem knowing that my darling daughter will undoubtedly one day wear much of what I have, clothes (maybe not so much) but definitely jewellery (she’s already staked her 7-year old little claim to some items).
Doing laundry has proven to be somewhat of a nightmare with my memory issues (until I found a solution that works for me). I don’t quite remember which item belongs to whom especially now, given the fact that certain of my husbands’ clothing items fit my son, as mentioned above. Before, it used to be a fight about them not finding items they’re looking for. Socks especially were a pain (not the ones which miraculously disappear as soon as you put them in the washing machine). Trying to help, my husband bought certain colours for each one. That was great but not so much for me because it meant I needed to remember which colour belonged to whom.
The reason for this post is that I just stumbled across an old note on my phone “Green Bevan”. (I kept a note of his colour simply because he was the biggest moaner of all when he couldn’t find his specific socks!). Finding the note floored me a bit because I had no idea what the hell it meant until my memory bank paid some dividends and I did, smiling.
Since that crazy time (more than a year ago), I’ve delegated laundry duty to each of my sons who are old enough to do their own. My daughter is in training and quite happy to comply, so that’s half the battle won. By teaching my kids, I ensure I don’t need to deal with any of the unneeded confusion and stress on my part. Besides, they need to learn at some point and I need a break…
On the odd occasion that I do the boys laundry with my husbands, I adopt the following attitude. “If you know it’s not yours, then give it to the person it belongs to”. And, if that doesn’t happen, they know where to go to find what they’re looking for. I don’t get involved in their little nuances and I most certainly don’t feel bad (anymore) at any stage of it.
It’s crazy how we try/have to remember the littlest things in life especially as mothers who do it all for their family’s…And, having a condition like Hydrocephalus on top of it all making the challenge even more real, definitely does not help. No wonder I’m losing it. Besides, there are more important things to worry about in life than who wears what colour socks or which underwear belongs to whom…wouldn’t you agree..?
If this has taught me anything, it would be:
What we deem important at one point in time is not necessarily so. What we do to effect change in our current state and our attitude towards it, will determine whether or not it survives in the equation of our life.