Last week I binge watched Lenox Hill, a documentary, currently playing on Netflix.
Not everyone has the stomach for watching brain surgery or women giving birth. So, if you’re squeamish, don’t watch it. Me on the other hand, I find it interesting…brain surgery, that is. For some reason, I want to know what happens after they “knock you out”. I want to understand what I went through when I’ve had brain surgery, and this is the closest I’ll ever get. Watching the thought process of these surgeons as they carefully plan out what they need to do beforehand, after their consultations and study of imaging, and then executing it. Seeing how they open a patient’s head, sometimes removing parts of their skull and removing tumours. (Nasty looking things!). The fact that they can distinguish, through all that mess, knowing with certainty what is “abnormal tissue” as opposed to brain matter, is a true testament to their level of skill and years of experience.
I can’t imagine that it’s easy to navigate through someone’s brain and not mess it up to the point of killing them. Respect!
I think it takes a certain type of person to answer the call of Neurosurgery. And, it’s apparent that the doctors and nurses of Lenox Hill, are somehow cut from the same cloth, they work in sync with each other and have similar work ethic which makes them stand out from the crowd. They display qualities I look for and want in a prospective medical professional: Empathy, Understanding and Compassion.
What is foremost in my mind, aside from the level of skill, is the tenacity they portray. They seemingly go above and beyond, putting their patients first, above everything else, and even entertaining theories, thinking outside the box and respecting the beliefs of their patients and families. Having watched these doctors in action, I fully empathise with the deflated feeling when treatment/surgery doesn’t go according to plan. Seeing the human in them gave me some perspective including when one of their own was diagnosed with cancer and needed surgery.
They are human after all…
Furthermore, what I realised while watching it, wasn’t all that new to me, but it’s something I can appreciate a little more.
They have a very difficult job to do. Period…
And, despite going into this profession with all good intention, it can drain them on so many levels. It does take its toll on them…no doubt. They also do get it wrong sometimes and don’t have all the answers, which is frustrating for all parties involved. They can be hard on themselves and yet, they have to find it within, to keep going, to give more of themselves to the next patient and the next…
There were quite a few moments which resonated with me. Like:
- Going to the hospital Emergency and being sent home after pain treatment…Home to continue living with discomfort and continued pain. The feeling of helplessness…
- Having concerns about whether or not your health insurance will cover your procedure – one thing this hospital gets right 💯. Seeing and treating patients regardless…Who does that?
- Putting your trust in medical staff, believing against all odds that all will be well and having complications. Something no one can predict or control.
What I did find surprising was the approach and nature of the surgeons. With a phrase like; “Human being on the table people”, timeout and silence before surgery, and even a brief history of the patient to make it all the more personable. (I wonder if any of the surgeons I’ve had operate on me, do something similar in the operating room). It certainly makes it more humane in the sense that the person lying on the table, is not just another number on the production line of operating tables. Undoubtedly…
It was impressive to watch, at least for me. I even liked the fact that they wash the blood out of your hair straight after surgery instead of leaving you to wake up to a caked mess of blood and knots.
Most times, because of my own experiences (13 doctors over the last 13 years), I’ve walked away (mostly) feeling like these doctors don’t give a stuff. Thinking that they are cold, heartless and probably more robotic than human. I suppose some of them are, with a clear god-like complex and “knowing better” attitude. However, I’ve also always said, I know there are those of them who are akin to Angels – I’ve been under the care of one such person before. Now, having watched Lenox Hill, I know there are others and I will keep searching for another. I didn’t think it was possible, but the care of these surgeons left me “drooling” (for lack of a better word) and wanting the same…
The human side is what anyone will look for when they’re about to have brain surgery. What’s wrong with that? The boxes these surgeons tick for each individual will be different. Some prefer skill and others prefer some personality to go with it, to each their own. If you feel like you’ve reached your wits end (like me countless times before), don’t give up. Keep searching and keep your own best interests at heart. You deserve to give yourself as much, or as little, as that. If anything, Lenox Hill has helped me to determine what it is that I want in a surgeon and dispelled the thought that I was looking for someone who doesn’t exist.
Clearly, they do, I just need to find them…
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