When life becomes bigger than you…

When life becomes bigger than you…

I used to pray that I could win the lottery or that I was born into a family with wealth (probably no more than the next person).  Somehow, money seems to be the answer to all our (man’s) problems, especially when we deem life to be “not quite going my way“.  Sometimes when I think about it, I realise that it really doesn’t take much to put me on a downward spiral of self-pity (shame on me).

This site, Skyewaters, has picked up so many new readers from across the world and, something interesting has happened over the last couple of months.  I feel a growing need inside of me to add more emphasis to my previous desire and prayer for financial gain.  However, there’s been a shift in the reason why.  Here’s a little context to help paint the picture:

My family and I moved to New Zealand a little over 6 years ago and haven’t been able to return back home to see the rest of our family because we simply can’t afford it (Not part of the initial plan…but, life happens).  If we really wanted to, we probably could but it would mean having to start over from scratch…again, something I cannot do in good conscience.  So…I continuously prayed to win the lottery or maybe even get a book or two published with financial gain.  But, it never happened…Meh!

I struggle with the fact that at this moment in time, I personally don’t have a neurosurgeon or a neurologist I could call should I be worried or suspect ETV failure (Not through lack of trying either).  I feel extremely paranoid and fearful of the “What if…” scenario in terms of needing further surgery or medical care for my condition.  These fears are all real and warranted…

Are you ready for the shift..?

Something which has become very apparent to me through the number of people who have connected with me is the need of those less fortunate, more specifically, their need for brain surgery.  Countries like Africa and the Philippines (not dismissing any other parts of the world) especially, appear to have a high number of babies/children, with Hydrocephalus, who don’t seem to be getting the help they need.  Living with this condition myself, I truly feel for these children.  Knowing the pain and agony they’re going through, not being treated…breaks my heart.

And, coming from a country like South Africa where I know the public medical system only too well, it hurts to see the circumstances these children and their families are in.  Remote locations in upper Africa where infrastructure and funding do not cater to the needs of those less fortunate and quite honestly, probably has no hope of improvement for a long, long time to come.  They do not have the “luxury” (tongue in cheek) of going to the Emergency Department if they suspect a problem.  This realisation changes the focus of my prayer and desire for money, if anything, it fuels it even more…but not for my own personal gain.

However, my situation is nowhere close to what these families must be going through.  The majority of people with Hydrocephalus have their own struggle or story to tell…this post is not meant to dismiss any of them.  But, it does beg the question…is there something more we can do for those who truly have nothing in the form of help..?

I wish I had the money to give at least one child the shunt or ETV they need to alleviate the pressure inside their heads.  I wish I had the money to provide a facility where they could go when their shunt or ETV fails.  I wish I had the money to employ a few neurosurgeons who the parents of these children could go to when they don’t know what else to do…

Life to me has become bigger than just myself, it’s become a platform to help others and highlight a need for attention to an invisible illness which affects way too many across the globe.

Maybe I’m crazy or maybe I’m not…but, is it really crazy to wish I had enough money to help those less fortunate than me, living with the same condition which torments my own existence..?  I wonder what difference just one $, from each person reading this post, would make in the life of a child living with this life-threatening condition?

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