Falling in love is easy. Meeting someone special and knowing they are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with is a bit tricky but the heart tends to trump in this arena…most times. Settling down and “nesting” comes sort of naturally, though awkward at first. And once you’re over the honeymoon phase…the biological clock starts ticking or those nosy friends and relatives start asking the monotonous question. “So when’s the baby coming?” with a look of delight you just can’t get out of your mind because a seed has been planted. You think…maybe it’s time…yes I’m sure it is. Let’s do it!
“Children are a blessing” is how the saying goes. I’ve uttered those words myself to other moms-to-be. Pregnancy and all that goes with it is definitely an experience all in itself and it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement and joy of a new little person entering your life. It’s a wonderful time.
Babies are adorable, I know all mine were and I loved them beyond my own understanding. I did not need to know Why I loved them…I just knew that I did. I used to look at other parents’ kids who were much older than mine and think “my kids won’t turn out like that“. Funny thing how we go into parenthood thinking we know it all and can already predict that we will have children who will be better than anyone else. In fact, truth be told, I don’t believe it’s a thought that lingers too long in our minds.
The thing you don’t realise is, these copies of yourself, they come with pre-installed personality, attitude and ideas. It’s a version of you but a newer you, merged with your partner/spouse. Great! That’s what makes them unique.
So the truth of the matter is, there will be moments of heartache and moments where your heart feels like it has just been thumped on by the very same little person, you helped bring into this world. Growing into the person they were destined to become is not an easy road for them and it sure as hell isn’t easy for you as their parent. It’s a damn big responsibility to guide, teach and even allow the egg on the face moments to happen. While this is all happening, another process seems to have occurred while you weren’t paying attention. You have become your own parents combined into one. Uttering things your mother used to say and seeing how your partner/spouse becomes the spitting image of his father. Whoa! Hold on…when did that happen?
It’s not all bad. There are moments of joy. Moments so special, you wish you could put it into a time capsule for safe-keeping. Moments where your heart feels so full it could burst.
There’s one important thing I need to point out. Your children will disappoint you. They will make you feel like you are not cut out to be a mother/father. You might even end up regretting it, to begin with. (No judging). The thing to realise though is, it’s not an item you buy at the store and can take back for an exchange. It’s a lifetime commitment. So regardless of the good or the bad…you’re in it for the long haul.
Some days I personally wish my kids came with instruction manuals. I don’t have all the answers especially when they test me to my limits. I have been in situations with them where I questioned if I were really cut out to be a mother. I remind myself that I’m doing the best that I can with them. And, it helps to hear them say out of their own, how much they love me and wouldn’t want any other mother than me. I guess I must be doing something right.
Give yourself a break! If you believe deep down in your heart that you have done and are doing the best you can for your kids, then that’s a good place to start. Remember also, you set the example and they will follow.
Raising kids is NOT easy…
P.S. If it’s any consolation…remember the wheel is round. Your grandkids will make up for all the torture your kids put you through. Lol! 😉