We fall in love…
Promises are made…
A lifetime of happiness we imagine together as we are governed by a heart filled to the brim. Life happens and 2 become 3, sometimes 4 or even 5.
In between all of that, feelings change as the illusion of it all slowly starts breaking down.
We see each other differently, maybe even silently we wish for something else…someone else. But, we live each day fulfilling our duty as we promised (what now seems like an eternity ago). We become weaker in our fortress as the bliss dissipates and becomes a mirage because of the shackles of domestic blah…
Then, in the weakest of moments, we find a mountain of courage to dive feet first at the spontaneous (maybe planned) opportunity of “freedom“. A taste of a life we once knew and secretly started yearning for, somewhere along the line of life. With thoughts of “What if..?” or “If only..?”
Hearts are crushed, trust is broken, dreams and promises are shattered…never to be mended again. There are fragments of moments…blurry moments which provide a false sense of hope. Thinking “Maybe if we just…” or “This time will be better because…”
Once the heart is broken, it can never be mended…because, the heart never forgets how you made it feel.
When the first whispers touch the edges of your heart…the beginning of love.
A feeling so uncontrollable, you lose yourself within it. I would class it as one of THE best emotions in the universe. There’s no recipe, no golden formula…it simply is – pure and simple. To fly on the wings of endless love is to soar amongst the clouds or swim in the deep blue sea. The sights and sounds of beauty (almost) unseen.
A first kiss…sweeping you off of your feet. A feeling of falling into a never ending sea of pure euphoria. Money cannot buy it…at least not true love. There’s a magic that happens when the strings of love entwine itself around your heart. Taking hold of your core and surrounding your whole being…powerless you are and so you shall remain. At this point, there’s no other choice but to succumb to the pleasure, desire and new heights your soul will reach.
Many have known this kind of love…come face-to-face with its splendid beauty and stood in awe of it. Speechless and giddy with happiness…to say the least. In its magnificent presence is where one wants to reside…Then and forever more.
This is a feeling your heart will treasure but sadly, in time…you will forget.
Then…there’s the opposite of that feeling. A feeling of having the vines of your heart and all the love it held dear, ripped from your core. A feeling of deep regret and pain…a pain so deep, the depths of the ocean cannot reach it. A vile and evil existence is what the presence of this kind of pain casts over your soul. It sucks the life out of you in one millisecond and hits your gut, right in the epicentre.
There is no breath. There is no getting over it.
There is no life beyond this pain. For all you thought you had…never truly existed. Like a tsunami, reclaiming the land, your heart will lose its beat. There will be no evidence of what is nor of what was.
Think of a knife being stuck slowly, inch by inch, into your gut. With a twist and a turn, each second is pure agony and your prayer for death to come grows more intense. Such is the pain from a heart that dies a slow death…such is the feeling of a true love’s betrayal of the vines which grew, from a whisper, over and into your heart.
Even though you learn how to breathe again and carry on with the humdrum of life…because that is what reality forces you to do…YOU will never be the same.
The heart never forgets how you made it feel.
Looking in the mirror, the reflection doesn’t resemble anything familiar…A face you read about, have been warned about but yet you remain convinced that it would never happen to you. Then, there’s the slightest realisation that you’ve lost yourself…whomever that may be.
Why do we lose respect for one another? How do we lose what we once had? And, why is there still inequality and loneliness when a marriage (partnership) consists of two?
I have to ask, is it really worth it staying and making it work? Does it not cause more heartache and pain? (You can run but you can’t hide).
And, does it not cause the worst kind of disservice to the most important person in the world to you…yourself?
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