Good “bedside manners” is a quality sought in a relationship with a prospective partner and should effectively be the same when choosing your Neurosurgeon (figuratively speaking of course).
Would you go into a relationship with someone who has a bad rep? How is one person’s view different from the other?
I’ve consulted with surgeons who, in my opinion, are a bit lacking in certain qualities especially their “bedside manners” yet other patients sing their praises. Or, I may feel that their level of expertise is not quite up to scratch when others clearly think they are. Does that mean I set the bar too high?
A friend once said to me, “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime“. Some people we choose to be a part of our daily existence and others…well we need them for certain situations or experiences (at the time we might not see it that way). It’s sometimes a good thing to go through a few relationships before settling for “The one“. You could say that bad relationships are a necessary evil, simply because we grow and learn from our mistakes and hurts, which can make us stronger (most times).
Like when you choose a life partner. No person in their right mind would choose someone who isn’t good…for them, who doesn’t tick majority of the boxes..for them (ticking all would be great too – but, I’m a realist). Then of course there’s the dynamic of not seeing clearly in the early stages of said relationship. Thankfully, in time (when the honeymoon phase is over), there’s the blinkers which come off as well as the hindsight view. (Hopefully I haven’t lost you yet…)
The same goes for selecting your Neurosurgeon when you have a condition like Hydrocephalus.
The thing that I’ve been wondering about recently is, how is it possible for one persons views of a surgeon to be so drastically opposite to the next? I get that in relationships, we are attracted to a person because of certain qualities. There are many factors which contribute to whether or not we like, love or despise said person. Someone who is not right for me could very well be the love of someone else’s life. However, I feel that with a surgeon, it’s their expertise and a certain amount of good “bedside manners“, that should do it for their patient. How is it possible that I view one doctor as lacking in his “bedside manners” but the next person doesn’t even bat an eyelid over it?
If I had to take a step back, I would have to say that the doctors I’ve consulted with thus far (11 to be exact over the last 9 years), have all been bad with the exception of one. Majority of my boxes have not been ticked, which subsequently led me to move on from one to the other. Then in hindsight (Oh it’s a wonderful thing!), if I had to do it all over again, I would stick to the 1 exception and cling to him for dear life. It would mean that certain sacrifices would have to be made but what relationship does not require us to do that from time to time? Sadly, because life happens, I don’t have the luxury of going back to him because he no longer practices…
Will I ever find “The one” again?
Just like a love story, I almost don’t want to give up…but keep believing that he has to be out there…I just need to find him. Even if I have to meet a few frogs along the way…
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I blog about Hydrocephalus and Selective Mutism to give a voice to the millions of people around the world with this condition and disorder. As much as these experiences are unique to me and my family, I’m sure others have experienced it too. My aim…to shine a light on it and raise awareness – simple and challenging at the same time but worth it!