Is it really worth having a conversation with someone who doesn’t understand what Hydrocephalus is all about? (I’m not talking about Awareness or education because that will always be worth it). Someone who doesn’t get that this is a serious condition, requiring immediate action, in some cases? Someone who doesn’t get your fears, anxieties and uncertainty of just keeping your head above water?
Someone who challenges you in your line of thinking, regardless of whether you’re being paranoid or not. If you tell them that the doctors won’t help you and they ask “Why?” more than once (because we understand the reasons behind a doctors reluctance best, right?). Or if they ask you “Do you really think you’ll get better treatment/care elsewhere?”. In these situations, I’d say the conversation should come to an end and you should just move on. Anyone in any situation will end up doing what they think is best for them. We all do this, regardless of the fact that the end result is unknown Territory. We live with the outcome – the consequences of bad choices or reaping the rewards of the best decision at the time because that’s life.
Some people (no matter if they’re close to you or not), will get it and others, well they won’t and can’t. To me, there’s a clear difference between someone who simply can’t understand and someone who for their own selfish reasons, won’t. I say “selfish reasons” because I’ve had a few of these conversations lately and discovered afterwards that that’s the reason behind the “Why?”. Driven by “care and good intentions” or something else…whatever the reason, it really doesn’t matter.
As humans, we tend to do what suits us whether that be knowingly or unknowingly. We follow our natural instinct and sometimes we forget…
We forget what it’s like for the next person and how to be empathetic, we forget to shut up when our opinion doesn’t count or is hurtful and, we forget that the next person is just trying to do life as best as they can, just like us. We offer our opinion on something because the response makes sense in our heads and is pertinent to our own situation…but it’s not always right.
If you find yourself in this situation, end the conversation or change the topic. (It doesn’t have to end in a fight either – use your own discretion). Move on, especially if it doesn’t serve you well. Navigate life with your condition to the best of your ability and, most of all, your best interests at the forefront of whatever decision you make.
Besides, you’re the one who has to live with the outcome, not the person you’re talking to.