Selective Mutism : Different from the start

Selective Mutism : Different from the start

I am a mother of 3, 2 boys (15 and 12) and a daughter (age 6) who has Selective Mutism also known as SM.  I hadn’t heard of this before, had no clue about it but have recently decided to start blogging about our journey.  It’s a topic which needs attention and the frustration and helplessness that accompanies it, leaves me with little room to vent or talk to anyone about it.  So I’ll do it here…

My birth experience

My daughter was born on 24 March 2010, a very exciting time for our family. She is my third child and baby sister to her two older brothers. I was induced with my first son and expected a normal delivery but because of complications, I ended up having an emergency C-Section.  My next two babies were scheduled for the same type of birth because of this.

Just after midnight, my water broke. A feeling I had never before experienced as all my deliveries were scheduled a few days before my due date. However, my daughter had different plans for us and proceeded to wake me up to a beautiful (though confusing) experience of my water breaking. I had it all…contractions until I could no longer take it. For anyone who doesn’t know, most c-section births do not afford the mother the experience of water breaking or contractions. Having experienced both, it’s definitely something to be viewed as “missing out“.

A call to my gynaecologist left me with instructions to go to the hospital and he would call ahead. I was scheduled to check in at 5:30am with my C-Section scheduled for 7am.

At the hospital, I was monitored with my pain being controlled and eventually delivered my 3.42kg baby girl, as scheduled.

A very special friend had given me a rose plant a few weeks before the time.  The day we brought Kathryn home, the first rosebud appeared…it was so special.

kathryn-rose

Her primary care

I asked my cousin, who was unemployed at the time, to come and live with us and take care of my baby (3 months old), when I went back to work. My daughter had interaction with other family members but shied away from them most of the time. She would cry hysterically the minute anyone other than myself, husband, boys or cousin picked her up. We wrote this down to her just being too used to my cousin, whom she spent majority of her time with.  The one difference with her was that the first 2-3 years, she would just scream. I mean a high-pitched scream which would literally leave me wondering when she would pop a blood vessel.  It concerned me but there was no getting her to stop the behaviour…it was just odd and very embarrassing especially in public.  Looking back now, being around other people, didn’t exactly stop her doing this.  She didn’t attend daycare either as the boys did from the age of 1.

I wonder if I had in fact sent her to daycare like the boys, would she have learnt to overcome her fear/anxiety of talking in front of or to others…

 

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Thank you for taking the time to read.

I blog about Hydrocephalus and Selective Mutism to give a voice to the millions of people around the world with this condition and disorder.  As much as these experiences are unique to me and my family, I’m sure others have experienced it too.  My aim…to shine a light on it and raise awareness – simple and challenging at the same time but worth it!

2 Comments

  • Anonymous

    November 13, 2016 at 4:15 am Reply

    I had this until sometime in my twenties. I may still have it depending on the occasion. No one will ever know if it would have made a difference if you sent her to daycare. It might have, but it is a hard thing to overcome.

    • Skyewaters

      November 14, 2016 at 8:14 am Reply

      I do hope that I can find positive ways of helping her deal with this. I suppose you are right, no one will ever know but I do wonder.

      I hope things are better for you now. Thanks for commenting.

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